Holding my Future up

A good bit of the morning was used up looking at the community college schedule. 
First, the paper booklet that came in the mail, then at the online list which is much more detailed about the class expectations and Instructor name (although not reputation) and if there are slots left open in that time period.  I am getting down to the deadline here, August 11, with classes beginning August 18.  I put off this studying because I wanted to make sure I would not have to repeat Intermediate Algebra.
I need to be a student full-time for the Fall and Spring semesters so that my Associate Degree will happen before my next birthday.  Wouldn’t that be something to achieve by the time I am 50?  Never have stuck it out long enough in classrooms.  It still really, really bothers me to have to pay tuition to have someone else tell me what to write and when to have it done.  I don’t mind so much if it was within the parameters of a paycheck.  I cannot believe I just typed that word ‘parameters’ as if it is an everyday occurrence.  See what Algebra has done to my brain?

I’m leaning towards Early Childhood.  I am really good with babies.  There is something so Definite with them.  They come in not knowing anything, they trust everybody.  Milestones are expected.  Hold up head. Turn head when Daddy comes into the room. Roll over. Sit up. Crawl. Stand. Walk.  New sounds, words.  Stories are fresh everytime. 
The first year is the best year, and just when they begin to get mobile and stubborn, promote ‘em to the Toddler room next door.

I liked working in a daycare center.  It consumed energy, bestowing care on all the little people.  Even more difficult for me was dealing with the grown-ups.  My co-workers are folks like Me.  Too much like Me.  And sometimes I get frustrated with Me.  It takes a special personality to stand in the middle of a room where 9 babies are crying for attention, and still be able to think about priorities. 
The parents of the babies had their own ideas.  I remember trying to explain to one mother that my job as a teacher was aimed from a similar angle to hers as a mother.  Of course the child behaved differently for each of us, but everyone wants what is best for the child both at home and in school.  She couldn’t understand how she, at home with one child, could give individual, itemized, time and effort,  above what we were doing in one large classroom with twelve babies.

Husband isn’t too keen on me pursuing that route again, with the qualified education or not.  Draining all energy, dealing with tired parents who feel guilty for not taking care of their own offspring.  The pay is a dismal hourly rate.  The continuing education classes, the security camera daring anyone to cross some subjective line.  The official reason I was fired “failed to adhere to company policy” gelled down to {it looked/ she said/ on camera/ not nice} from different personal views.  I admitted that I raised my voice, a non-positive disciplinary action.  Surrounding and previous circumstances should have allowed a little leeway. 
How do detectives ever capture real bad guys?

My academic advisor is nudging towards nursing.  I had an LPN diploma in 1976, and nurses are desperately needed today. 
Sick people really test my patience lately.  Everybody wants a quick fix, a pill.  Many don’t appreciate the efforts for service.  Standing rule seems to be that of entitlement because money is changing hands, or the insurance rate is so high you had better give me the best.  This attitude comes across while I am in line at the grocery store, so I don’t want to imagine dealing with it when someone is miserable at a clinic or hospital. 

Then there’s the wide-open field of Special Ed.  I’m too politically incorrect to get going there.  Naww, I’d better not.

I’m not so good with long term planning, nor having a goal for some distant horizon.  It’s why I’ve taken a class here and there, dropped out more often than perfect attendance.  ‘Lack of focus and initiative’ was written on one scholarly appraisal of my attitude.

Come to think of it, I like a job where I see results right away.  A waitress takes the order, serves the food, gets a tip.  The janitor sweeps the floor, sets up tables, racks chairs.  As the baker in a cafeteria, I was over in the far corner with the mixer and ingredients and the ovens, making fine creations which were sold to appreciative customers across the counter at lunch.
Even in daycare, although I did fine as a sub for every age group, my favorite was with the babies, as I mentioned above.

Getting back to the community college schedule.  I have a list of preferences, with a preponderance of Early Childhood classes and labs.  I have not signed up for anything yet.  The cloud of doom which settles over me when I have to find Credible Resources to write research papers isn’t very appealing today, and I have the notion that once I sign up, I am committed and have to follow through until Christmas. 
Full-time Student is an occupation difficult for me to aim at, even with a willing Husband who foots the expenses.
I checked the Classifieds in the newspaper.  HeadStart has openings with only 46 weeks of work a year, plus all holidays off.  Minimum educational requirement is an ECE Associate Degree, and Food Service certification within 10 months of gaining employment.
There are several requests for sales persons at car dealerships, and assistant managers at fast-food restaurants. 
Talk about low public opinion.

I did a bit of research about work and happiness.  The ease and wonders of the Internet are still have me wide-eyed.
~~love and Huggs, Diane

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