Dropped Away for Saying What I Think

Just about a week ago, I came across a headline for an article about a situation in my hometown in Ohio. I clicked, read, clicked on links, watched a short video produced by their local television station.

Still the news left my heart racing,
and my breathing stopped for a couple extra seconds.

a Guy who was a grade ahead of me through school, yet we had a class together in high school,
whose father had been a buddy of my own dad, whose kid’s birth was within months of my son

had shot his wife, and then himself,
in a murder-suicide

the video had the voice of his neighbor lady, who had called the police to a quiet street on a sunny morning, because she heard gunshots, albeit a few minutes apart

News articles since then have been sparse with details. He was currently unemployed, had some trouble with drinking and driving… actually had a court appearance due.

the Obituaries give names of relatives, but seem put together a bit fragmented, understandable under the circumstances.

But, I was Friends with friends on Facebook
and so I had snippets of the scene behind the news

there is a Benefit Fund established, and an Event planned

One Status Update just about knocked me over again
“a couple more Kegs needed”

which I have never asked for in all my times of serving Funeral Dinners

So, I sent a private message, not a Comment for all Readers, to the person who wrote the request, and told her that I don’t think more kegs would be needed during a time when everyone might try to drown their sorrows

the reply came back that the guy “did not die from drunk driving” and “we are not hosting a drunk fest”
and I am titled (sic) to have my own opinion

Well, okay. I wrote my say, in private messages, and have never mentioned it again on Facebook.

Although my husband, son, and friend have certainly gotten earfuls in my own kitchen.

However, this little exchange upset my Friend so much that when I got home from the job yesterday and logged on to Facebook, her name and Profile will not appear on my List.

Is there a term for that? Un-Friended? De-Friended?

which implies “You pissed me off so much that pictures of my adorable child will never touch your screen again” ?!?!

Well, I’m sitting many miles away from the old home town in the Valley. And there are ways other than “more kegs” where I would like my donations to go.

I don’t really want to call my mother yet, but I know she will have even more details. She will have the older generation’s observations.

Meanwhile, the washer is on its last spin.
I have to pack my bag for Yarn Group this afternoon.
And two cats are telling me they are glad I’m home now so I can open and close the door every 10 minutes to let one or the other come indoors or go outside on a lovely morning.

~~love and Huggs, Diane

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5 Responses to Dropped Away for Saying What I Think

  1. Brenda says:

    I am sorry that your friend was so upset that she would remove her name from your list but I think you did the right thing by speaking up. There are many right ways and many wrong ways to remember a person. I don’t feel asking for kegs is right for any memorial. How are people dealing with the death of the wife? Maybe friends should focus on the loss of the wife instead of the man who killed her. Let us know how this goes. I have been in California and missed the article. Do I know these people???

  2. MrsDoF says:

    Brenda, I sent a copy of the Obituary, found at the Keller Funeral Home.

  3. momma says:

    True she has a right to de-friend you but you also have the right to voice your opinion on the situation. I guess you will just have to find another friend, who thinks as you do about the situation and let this relationship go. Don’t bother your head about it any longer.

  4. dkzody says:

    I wouldn’t worry about it. People can be petty. I have to say I unfriended a person who I had added even though I hardly knew the person. Turns out, I didn’t want to know her and she made comments that did not make me happy, so I unfriended. A couple of others, whose comments are a bit, how should I say this, risque?, I have hid. They are still friends, I just don’t see their comments.

  5. Susan McMannis says:

    People who have drinking problems are quick to take offense and feel judged even when a comment is not meant to be judgmental of them PERSONALLY. Obviously you unknowingly hit a raw nerve with this person. I’m sorry they hurt you.

    The fellow’s father Lloyd died just a few weeks before this happened. And I think it’s safe to assume that alcohol was imbibed when the man took his wife’s life and his own. You said exactly the right thing, but people often don’t want to acknowledge the right thing if it means they are doing the wrong one.

    I hope he/she wises up before they end up the same way. God is proud of you. So am I!
    Love,
    Sue McMannis