A Personal Experience….

This was the first speech I gave for this Summer’s Communications class at HCC.  The assignment was to tell about a Personal Experience, and this one happened for me in 1982. 
I earned a 78 for my presentation, partly because I choked up with tears in the middle, and mostly because I did not end it according to form.
However, it does look okay as I do it in writing.

>>When a person buys yarn at a store, it is important to notice the DYE LOT number.  You see, when yarn is colored, it goes into a big tank of dye.  The first few bundles that go in get the beginning of the chemicals and turn out nice and bright.  The last few batches are more faded because of breakdown of the chemicals, so No DYE LOT is written on the band of the yarn.  These last ones are sold at bargain basement stores, even though the actual strands of yarn is strong, the color is also very important.  The idea that there are different shades of yarn will come into play in a little bit.

When I went to college years ago, I didn’t exactly go for an education.  I wanted to get away from home, to see new places, find new friends.  Although I went to every class during its scheduled meeting time, I did very little of the homework assignments or extras.
One thing got ahead of another, and I learned I was pregnant.  I finished that semester, then when my tummy started to show, I went to live in a home for unwed mothers.  My dad was very upset, and I did not want to cause more turmoil in his house.  Knowing I would be away from society for the most part, I took my crochet hooks and a big bag of yarn with me.  I planned on making an afghan for my sister who would be getting married in a couple months.

Some other girls saw what I was doing, and asked me to teach them to crochet.  There were about 7 girls, and I gave lessons and we really had a nice way to pass the time.
We got a sort of allowance while we lived there, to be used for personal items, like shampoo.  Many of the girls also had extra money from their family.  One girl’s mother bought a bunch of yarn, making sure the dye lot was the same and asked her daughter to crochet a blanket for her in time for Mother’s Day.

Another girl decided that she wanted to make a blanket for her baby.  She had no one who gave her extra money, so she would use part of her allowance to buy just one or two bundles of yarn a week.  She carefully crocheted, and ripped out a row when it wasn’t coming out right.  Because she bought yarn at low cost, and different places and times, there were shades of the colors.  One of the blues was so faded to be almost gray.

It was getting about time for me to be having my baby.  This girl was concerned that I would leave before she finished the blanket.  The border uses a different kind of stitch, so she asked me to do it.  There wasn’t time to teach her properly.  I used plain white yarn, leftover from one of my own projects, and did a nice edge, which actually covered up a couple of her beginner’s mistakes.

I had my baby in May,fairly close to the due date.  Very difficult, we each almost died. We went from the Delivery Room to our Intensive Care Units.  I was told I probably would not be able to have another.  When my dad heard that, he insisted that I bring the baby home, he did not want to lose either of us.  I gave the other girls at the home the address of my dad’s house.  I never expected to hear from them again.  The privacy laws can be very strict.

However, a couple months later, I got a birth announcement.  She said she had a baby boy in early July.  She wrapped him in the blanket, and handed him to a social worker, who took him to a church for all the legal paperwork to be done.  It was easier to give him up inside a church she said.  She said she would be returning to high school in the Fall, that my tutoring with math and spelling had been great.  She was forever grateful that I had taught her to crochet.  That was the last communication from her.

Fast forward almost three years.  We had gone through with a wedding, and we had moved to another city so that my husband could finish classes for his Bachelor’s.  At least one of us had to get a degree, and he was further ahead than I was.  I worked at a restaurant, and I said I was getting my PHT degree.  (Putting Hubby Through)  Our son was now about age two and a half, running ahead of me at the mall.

He stopped still in front of a stroller, looking at the little boy inside.  Have you ever noticed that? Little kids like to watch other little kids?  I went up and leaned over the stroller myself.  A little boy, about the age of my son, with big brown eyes and dark curly hair, and willing to ride in a stroller, which my son never wanted to do.  He took his first steps a few days after he turned 8 months old, and barely slowed down ever again.

And then I noticed the blanket the little guy was holding.  I dropped to my knees, right there in the mall in front of a stroller.  I said “That is a beautiful blanket.  Can I look at it?”

I should mention that the lady who had been pushing the stroller had come round and was standing beside it.  She was talking a mile a minute, but I could not tell you a word she was saying right then.
The little boy took his thumb out of his mouth, and handed a corner of the blanket up to me.  The lady stopped talking in mid-sentence and did a little gasp.

I carefully brought the blanket up out of the stroller.  I held it up, between me and the other woman because I did not want her to see my tears.  Almost three years, and that crocheted white border was again in my hands.  The colors and all their subtle dye shades were still evident.

I turned again to the little guy in the stroller and tucked his blanket back around him.  As I got back up to my feet, I told him,
“That’s a beautiful blanket.  Somebody sure cares about you to make something so pretty”.

The other woman realized this was her chance.  “Oh that, well, he’s adopted and his birth mother made it for him.  The middle of July, and the social worker handed him to me wrapped up in that.  I tried to take it off of him because it was so hot, but he grabbed on and has never let it go.  It has become his special one, and has to go everywhere with us.  It’s all I can do to get it from him for the laundry.  It’s holding up just fine though.”

I told her that my son had a special bear waiting back in his carseat, and we chatted a bit longer as mothers do, although I did not say anything I know about the origins of that blanket.
Then I took my son by the hand and we walked off down the mall one way, and she pushed her stroller the other.

I’ve crocheted many, many things over the years, but the one I remember the most had other hands helping to work on it.<<

~~love and Huggs, Diane

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17 Responses to A Personal Experience….

  1. Maria says:

    Diane,
    Bless you for sharing this most beautiful story of love and survival with us. My heart went out to all the girls in the home. No wonder your crocheting has such meaning to you and I can understand why your voice broke as you remembered this in the middle of your speech. It is difficult to not cry when memories come flooding in at the wrong moment and are bittersweet. I too, have trouble in public speaking, when I talk about certain times in my life. I am so glad that you were able to keep your baby. What a truly beautiful person you are.

  2. momma says:

    Thank you for sharing. That you were able to keep your son was meant to be. What a wonderful family has resulted.

    But that you should see the child with the blanket you helped to finish three years earlier is amazing.

  3. LadyBug says:

    That was beautiful, MrsDoF, just beautiful. It made me teary and gave me chills.

    I give you an A.

  4. Sue says:

    What a great story Diane!!
    Wow, what a woman!! (you, that is!)

  5. caroline says:

    I’m sad, i’m happy, i don’t know what to say. What a beautiful story to share.

  6. Army of Mom says:

    I think women who are capable of having a baby and giving up for adoption to a family who can love the child and offer them so much are truly some of the most incredible women on the planet. Sounds like that woman, to me, didn’t quite get it. I hope she did, though, because she was given such an incredible gift. I can’t imagine giving my child away.

    I’m so glad you were able to keep your son and that both of you survived. And, like one of the other commenters here, it makes more sense why you love to crochet so much.

  7. Maria says:

    Hi again,
    Last night when I couldn’t sleep, I thought again about your story and the way you so kindly taught crocheting and gave others such a wonderful gift. I thought about the little boy and his blanket and how you recognized the crocheting on it. You have given us all a wonderful gift by sharing your story with us. Thank you.

  8. Andrea says:

    What a touching story, on so many counts. The image of that little guy hanging on to the only memory, however subconscious, of his birth mother…oh, what a precious gift for *him*!

  9. Evelyn says:

    Touching! Lovely Real Story!
    Evelyn

  10. MrsDoF says:

    You all are so kind with your sweet words.

    In an e-mail, someone asked about my own baby delivery and its complications.
    It turned out to be a reaction to Demerol, a drug given routinely for labor pains. The doctor told me to never, ever take such medication again.

    When I had the next two babies, not so much as a Tylenol, no epidural, Nothing for either labor. I told my doctor and hospital staff that I could handle natural childbirth better than drug allergies.

  11. Doris says:

    That is such a poignant bitter-sweet story. Thank you for sharing it. I can’t believe there was a dry eye in the house after hearing that!

    Now I re-read it, I see that you are saying this happened in 1982. In 1982 you were sent to a home for unwed mothers and others obviously had to give up their babies. I remember 1982 – I can’t believe this sort of thing was still going on then. It is oh so sad. Of course for some it is a wonderful thing that they give up their child for adoption but this doesn’t sound like real choices but more like the social pressures that the likes of my mother’s generation had to go through.

    It is wonderful that you were able to hold on to your child and that you both survived the medical complications.

    Best wishes.

  12. MrsDoF says:

    Actually, I was at the home the winter and spring of 1980 until son was born in May, then I saw the blanket in the stroller in the fall of 1982.
    The mall was about 100 miles from the city where the home was, so the adoptive mother probably had no idea there might be any connections, and I wasn’t ready to speak of details back then.

  13. John III says:

    Diane,

    My mom is Maria (SilverFox) and I was talking with her today and she told my wife and I to visit your site and read the Crochet story..Wow..what an amazing story. I had goosebumps. I hope you are having a wonderful 4th of July and I know how much it means to my mom that you two are linked up via blogging…
    Take Care!

    John III

  14. Circus Kelli says:

    Wow, that’s a beautiful story. It gave me chills.

    I’ve had three children, and can’t imagine having to give any of them up. I was put up for adoption when I was born, and Bio-Mom (who I found when I was 20 years old) says that the only reason she was able to let me go was that she *knew* I would find her again someday. Between the two of us, we are hard pressed to explain which of us is more blessed to have a relationship with the other.

  15. william says:

    That is a beautiful story.

  16. kaiasmom2003 says:

    What a touching story!

  17. Pam says:

    Ah, the thoughts your story brings to mind! My 3 sons are all adopted, I have a brother who’s 4 yrs. older than me whom I never knew existed until 3 years ago…he was also adopted, from my unwed parents to another family. That was ‘the way it was’ back in the 40′s. He found me via the ‘net, knowing the name of his birth mom (my Mom). Who knew we would actually be full brother & sister?! How wonderful and yet, poignant, to actually run across that blanket again! I would have been bawling! You did well to hold the tears in! The Lord has a way of ‘knitting’ people together and it is such a blessing that He used your skills in such a wonderful way. Thanks for sharing your story.
    Hugs;
    Pammie