Wandering around some weblogs, I came across a list of what the guy called “Post Possibles”, which looked like it might be a way to get the mind going for things to write in an online journal.
Some were quite specialized expertise, others very mundane.
I believed this one could be likely for me
“What 5 things would you like to do before you get old?”
so I thought and I thought, and I made some tea, then I thought some more.
Then I came to the conclusion that I am already old. I cannot think of anything I wanted to do that I haven’t already done.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a Nurse. I had rheumatic fever the summer I turned age 9, and I was in the hospital for almost a month, then home recuperating for months thereafter. I thought a Nurse had such a good job, taking care of people. So I went to LPN school at the community college back in the Valley. I worked about two years as an LPN, even taking a few night classes towards a degree. Then I went to college full time for a year, hoping to earn that degree. I haven’t finished for the degree yet, and probably won’t, at least to be a Nurse. And after I became a mother, I didn’t have the energy. Emptying bedpans all day, and changing baby diapers all night just didn’t balance well for me.
My next wish was to be a mother. As the oldest of 5, I was sort of a mini-mom already, but I had responsibility without authority. I really wanted a baby, many babies. And before I was age 30, because I wanted energy to be able to take them places and enjoy them. And if at all possible, to be able to make motherhood my job at home with my babies, and teach them, and volunteer with them, and be at programs, even if they were only in the back row of the angel chorus.
My own mom had a job in a shoe store, and had to work way too hard to organize for time to do everything.
I wanted to have a kind, intelligent husband. One who could work with his hands, had a creative ability. If his job was in an office, he might come home and work on a hotrod in the garage or do wood-working, or putter around the house (even though I don’t like to live in a place where re-modeling is going on).
If he was a craftsman all day, then his hobby could be reading and gaining knowledge (home computers and the Internet were long into the future—who knew?)
Under no circumstances would I have a guy who played the game of golf, drank more than one beer or single glass of wine in one sitting, or wouldn’t empty his own ashtrays.
The man I married is a guy I met in the college cafeteria, so that meant he could seek higher education. The same day we met, he had his head under the hood of the jalopy I drove around campus, and he fixed its problem. He doesn’t drink or smoke, other than the occassional cigar of celebration. He is the most kind-hearted person I know, and he wanted to raise a good family the same as I did. There are times when I feel I am not worthy to stand beside such a fine man.
Let’s see. Nurse, mother, Husband. Only three so far.
Oh yeah, I wanted both of us parents to team up to raise our children to be good citizens of society. Not get in distress with the law—unless duty was more important than legalities. During high school, each of the boys got called into the Dean’s office for one slight problem or another, but that was as far as trouble went.
I hoped that our sons would have good moral standards. Not necessarily regular church-goers (it is so boring to sit through sermons), but have some good purpose, and willingness to come to the aid of others less fortunate. Our boys are up-to-snuff, so far as their schedule and wallet allows.
So here I sit, my body going through The Change, which by many cultures is considered to be an old woman.
I haven’t decided on number 5.
My therapist asked me the same question. “What do I want to do with the next half of my life?”
Now that even the youngest son is pretty much on his own, what opening or opportunity should I pursue? The way my Composition course is going, I may not have the inner strength to get a Degree. Paying tuition so that someone else can tell me what to do really punches me in the mid-section.
My crochet goes well, although there is a bedspread pattern I have been looking at. Very intricate, to finish the whole thing would be quite an achievement. To do it up in hook and thread, and have the item go for a great price at the Relief Sale Auction would be marvelous.
Travel isn’t real high on my list. I like to sit on the front porch with the National Geographic and a glass of iced tea, then just read about adventures.
I shall have to think some more. You can chime in if you like.
~~love and Huggs, Diane